Things I Probably Shouldn’t Have Done

Every now and then, people choose to go down the memory lane. They take the long (or short) walk down the path and reminisce about the things that have happened to them in the past. The sad moments, the funny moments, the happy moments and the embarrassing ones as well. I on the other hand am not people. Matter of fact, I wonder who would name their child “People”. Bad as that joke might have been, my point is I do not go down the memory lane every now and then. I do it all the time.

I am constantly living and reliving things that happen to me. So much so that half the time, I am not even in the present. Even in conversations with people, I tune out to remember the time I was trying to hold in a fart while the nurse stood over me with the needle and syringe in hand. It’s gotten so bad that I’m pretty sure I must have lost friends to that already.

Apart from the fact that the past makes up about seventy percent of everything that goes on in my head, I promised at the creation of this blog that there would be the “Irewole’s Diary” category on this blog. For these reasons, today I would not be boring you with an article on how you can do anything you want to if only you believe. Naa fam. Today, I would be telling you a personal experience and hopefully draw one or two moral lessons from it.

It all happened when I was a young boy…

My father was relatively strict and would occasionally set rules and regulations in the house to keep the kids in check (like almost every other father would). One of those rules was that between the hours of seven and nine in the evening, we were to be at our reading tables doing academic work.

See Also: Don’t Be So Basic Please

Fun as reading was however, I did not want to do it. My eleven year old self was more interested in watching movies. Shocking, I know.

I remember being so obsessed with Clark Kent back then from the Smallville series. Thinking about it now still gets me emotional. All those movies intrigued me. Justice League, Batman: Brave and the Bold. As a matter of fact, I was pretty much obsessed with the entire DC Comics.

If you’re my friend and you prefer Marvel to DC, cut me off please. It’s not me, it’s totally you.

Anyway, I went to school and borrowed a season or so of Smallville from my best friend partly because that was what all the JSS1 students were talking about. Superman this, Superman that. My dad worked outside the state so I thought I’d just watch it when he travelled back to work at the end of his leave. I kept the movie in my bag. That night, I was about to observe the seven to nine tradition. I sat at the edge of my bed and began pulling out my books with the movie still in my bag. I did not see my dad walk in and did not notice I pulled the movie cover itself out at the same time.

Me as soon as we made eye contact.

He obviously had not gotten me that movie and he wondered how it came to my bag. He looked at me skeptically and asked what was going on. I tried playing cool but my heart was having a one man orchestra inside my chest. I took the easiest way possible out. I lied. Told him a friend asked me to help him keep it and then forgot it with me. Keep in mind that I was terrible at lying back then. Matter of fact, I’m still terrible at lying seeing as I’m such a good boy.

He obviously figured it out immediately. He told my mom who would be driving me to school the next day to verify what I had said from the friend. That day, we went to school and I introduced my best friend as the person who told me to keep the movie in front of my mom. He looked confused and told her that was not what happened and then told her that I asked for the movie because I wanted to watch it.

My reaction from behind my mom when he said it.

A number of my friends were around and they gave me the stink eye like “look at this stupid liar not being able to lie properly.” I’d say I’ve never felt more embarrassed but that’d be a lie. Strangely, my greatest regret at the time was that I did not get to watch that movie. Yes I was that obsessed. Thankfully, I did not get beaten.

The one time I did get beaten however was when I wanted to be like Firelord Ozai so I lit a match in front of a bottle of insecticide and then pointed it at the curtains in my dad’s room, burning it. I’m sure you don’t wanna hear about that though. I wouldn’t want to bore you with stories of how my entire house almost got torched by fiery tongues of destruction and how I got the ass whooping of a life time. No, I’m sure the story of me lying and not getting punished for it is a lot more entertaining. You’re welcome by the way.


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Conclusion

Sitting here in front of my laptop, typing this long article and hoping it won’t be as crappy as I think it is, I can think of one very important moral lesson.

Never eat beans and egg for dinner from a shop you know nothing about by 11pm at night. It is one of the worst possible things you could do to yourself.

Also, lying is not good or whatever.

So,

  • Did you like the article? I know I didn’t have a very interesting childhood but did you enjoy this right here?
  • What’s the most ridiculous thing you did as a kid which got you in trouble with your parents?
  • DC or Marvel?
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Jozieh
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Jozieh

When i was 9 I jammed the door of the bathroom because I wanted to feel like a big boy who needed “privacy”

Long story cut short, my estate security men have seen me naked

Akachi
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Akachi

Most of the time I got punished for things that had to do with me burning the food because if watching TV😂😂😂😭😭😭 I used to be so engrossed like you’ll be legit talking to me and I can’t see or hear you😂. Funny enough I don’t even like tv anymore

Akachi
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Akachi

I’m sorry family but it’s marvel🤷. I had an okay childhood I guess. Thanks for sharing

Akachi
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Akachi

Fam*

Kido
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Kido

Taking 100naira from my mummy’s purse and putting it in between my collar…. U might be wondering how i will iron my collage with the money in between

Kido
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Kido

Taking two meats instead of one and throwing the bone to the next house😂😂😂

Angie Baby
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Angie Baby

I’m late to the partyyyy but better late than never, eh? I was laughing out loud at the part where your friend didn’t back you up. You should have thrown him away ni 😭 Firelord Irewole, Ruler of the fire nation 😄 Speaking of fires, I remember one time, I think I was 4. I was doing my assignment at night (as per, good girl) and there was no light so I was using a candle. My eraser fell under the table I was using and I went with the candle to find it. I don’t know how o but… Read more »

Angelica
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Angelica

saving meat from soup every night just so I could look at it 😂 😂
Sadly my mom ate all while I was at school 😢

Jozieh
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Jozieh

Wait; what do you mean “look at it”😂😂😂

RestingBitchFace
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RestingBitchFace

Okay, so, one time when I was like 12, I think, there was a stretch of time that there was no light in my house and our generator conked out, too, so, hello candles. Me, what was my business, I was unconcerned with everything except for the fact that nobody let me blow out the candles in the morning. So one day, when I came back from school and saw an empty candlestick in the kitchen, it made total sense to light it so I could blow it out. So, I did it. Only to look up and see that… Read more »

Ayanpella
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Ayanpella

The most stupid thing I did as a kid was when I tried to move away from the house one day when my mom flogged me. I packed all my stuff into a carton and was set to leave. I low-key expected her to beg me but the look she gave me didn’t even give me the “mind” to leave. I was in sifia pain😭😭😭😭

Lola
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Lola

Hahaha.. This is actually too funny. I didn’t really used to get in trouble as a kid… I was such a good girl dah I used to returned my daily allowances to my granny if I didn’t spend them. Buh honeslayyy,the day I broke my mum’s glasses she made with one huge amount I felt was ridiculous for a glasses.. I nearly died

Temi🐲
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Temi🐲

As a kid I was evil when it comes to getting people hurt🙃
I would find a way to hurt myself just so I could pin it on ya and get you more hurt
And as for getting an ass whooping,, oh boy 😂😂😂 me sef chop sontin

Prof
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Prof

The reason I hate Africa magic 😒😒. So in jss 3 I really can’t remember what happened that day but I know I was vexed really vexed before we went to eat. You know this yoruba family shii na eating dinner watching TV and all. So in the movie my a friend lured his friend to the back of a building and killed him giving my dad to start one of his never ending lectures about being mindful of the kinds of friends I keep not following people to hidden places and all 😔😔. He finished I didn’t say anything… Read more »

The Skinny Ninja
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The Skinny Ninja

That firelord ozi shit got me hollering tf 😂 ooh I had this cousin who did stupid shit like that, like when he was younger and obsessed with Ben ten, his dad got him this watch that looked like the “Omnitrix”. He wanted to turn to stinkfly then, so he turned the watch to stinkfly, went to the top of the staircase and jumped 🙂

Unfortunately he survived

Prof
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Prof

Unfortunately 😂😂

Royaltee
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Royaltee

You always manage to crack me up with your write ups. Nice one bro🤞

Brownie_vocal
Guest

I love Marvel. So goodbye dear friend-now-enemy😐

Also, I was a very good girl. I don’t remember getting in trouble for anything except when everyone else is in trouble and I’m forcefully included. Aside that…meh…
I’m such a good person🥺

The Skinny Ninja
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The Skinny Ninja

We’re all good children 🙂