Rewind and Recap

**walks in smiling awkwardly

Hey there. It’s me again. You know how I always drop blog posts for you consistently at the end of every week so you can unwind? You also know how I have never missed a single posting date? Yeah. I’m here again… like always. For some weird reason, the blog posts I uploaded for the last three weeks since “like I never left” disappeared into nothingness. I wonder why that happened.

Oh well. I guess there really is only one choice now. We just have to move on. A new year has begun and we really cannot let ourselves hang unnecessarily to old things. I know you can’t really answer this but what did 2019 teach you? I saw a lot of people on Twitter posting about how 2019 was their hardest year and how 2020 would absolutely be the best.Most of them looked exactly like this.

Are you one of those people? I don’t think I am though. I certainly had my fair share of challenges last year but was it really my worst year? I really don’t know. I started out as a 200L student. For some reason, ASUU thought it was cool to end the strike and I had to resume school eventually.

When I did, I found out that the place I’d paid for to live off campus was still going through puberty. It was not nearly mature enough to accommodate anyone regardless of their size. As such, my life as a refugee began. It was the very first time I jumped over a fence because the person who had the keys to my temporary place was way older than I am and for some reason was still asleep every single time. I hated every minute of it.

The temporary place I was asked to live was mostly for boys. There were more than ten boys sharing two toilets. That would have been fine if water supply was good. Alas, it was poorer than my test results in like I never left. They used to do what one of my friends would call shit sandwich. Someone takes a crap, wipes his ass with tissue and uses a layer of tissue to cover it. Another person comes and repeats the process. In a manner of speaking, it was sort of artistic and graceful. Like an eighty year old drunk man falling on his ass.

My temporary room had no fan or working air conditioner. For some reason, Lagos is hotter than all the girls reading this combined. There was never enough water to afford more than the luxury of my morning bath. So, I sat there every night, telling my parents I was fine and my shit which was too scared to come out of me that it was fine as well.

Apart from that, there were a ton of other jabs 2019 threw my way. I was relieved of my first job or as I’d like to put it, won sack mi danudanu. It was my only source of income at the time and I was wondering how I would do my Baby Boy lifestyle if I couldn’t afford more than one bag of water every two weeks without bribing my dad with crocodile tears on the phone. I am not telling you all this to be a depressing human crap but I want you to understand something.

Pay attention.

You might think I have/had it well in 2019 and you might even be thinking I’m a handsome, baller with absolutely no worries. Well, you’re half right. I am very handsome but I do not lack my own worries, challenges and failures. Comparing yourself would really not do much good because well… nobody really has anything going perfectly.

Except this dog… This dog is happier than your last relationship.

Having stated all my failures and challenges, I think it is also worthy of note that in that same year, about seven months later, I got about six different job offers. Well, eight if you consider the two whose interviews I didn’t attend.

My accommodation issues were sorted out and things went as they should. I can’t say for sure that this or that is what 2019 taught me but I can say that I’m very handsome. So sweetheart, my gee, mummies and daddies, humans and marlians, if you are reading this, happy New Year. I’m glad you spent this much time going through all these weird paragraphs. I hope you come back. I love you and mafo respectively.


You didn't subscribe throughout 2019 and you still don't want to subscribe now? Wetin dey sup?
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In conclusion

If you ask me what exactly I just wrote in this article, to be honest, I’m not quite sure. I think at some point I talked a lot about poop but I’m really not that sure. All I know is that I promised myself I would write sixteen blog posts in eight days and this is the first. Also, drinking three full bottles of vodka alone is not only sad, it reflects in your writing too. I do hope you learnt something though.

Before I leave…

  • Did you imagine me drunk after reading the second to the last sentence?
  • Did you enjoy the article?
  • What did 2019 teach you?
  • What are your 2020 goals or are you just roughing it?
  • Why are you a Marlian? Is that what your daddy sent you to school for?

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Brown Exploitss
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Pls irewole message me on WhatsApp we need to talk
07086749706. Pls it’s urgent.. You know me actually

Angelica
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Angelica

Okayy your experience was really funny and shitty 😏😆

Francis David
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Francis David

👀

Lucy
Guest
Lucy

Alot happened in 2019 though..things that shouldn’t be shared on this platform but it’s wasn’t much a bad year afterall.
2020 we gon’ secure the bag

Tari
Guest

2020 really taught you. 😸😸😸

Tari
Guest

😹😹😹😹😹 I’m sure twenty nineteen is laughing at you.

Mayowa
Guest
Mayowa

In addition
Naira Marley went to Peckham Academy where he graduated with a distinction in business. He went further to study at Crossways College, now Christ the King Sixth Form College, where he completed his business law.
He is now a Multimillionaire, Married two wives and blessed with four(4) Children
The shocking aspect of his biography is that, He is a Master Degree holder!!! Can you beat that???
Marlians, Zero Manners, No belt, Marlians dont graduate blablabla, you are doing yourself!😂

Ayanpella
Guest
Ayanpella

You mentioned “poop” so much so that I can’t seem to get the image out of my head. Anyways, 2019 wasn’t the worst year for me, in fact, it is the year with the most lessons yet and I’m grateful for it. 2020 definitely gon’ be better.
Happy birthday in advance, my love.❤️❤️

Lola
Guest
Lola

Did you just say mafo? Is Irewole now a marlian? Should I be scared?😂 Happy new year Irewole

Tolani
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Tolani

I like it…👍🏾👍🏾

Anoneemuz
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Anoneemuz

Drunk Irewole>>>>>

Orewole
Guest
Orewole

I also want u to know dat I’m so proud of you, having u as my departmental PRO is very encouraging

Ore
Guest
Ore

Wow!!!
I guess it was really a tough one because I really can’t bear all wat u had to pass through nd I hope u don’t have to pass through any of such in d year 2020
Happy New year once again…..
Great job though 👍👍👏👏

Oliseh
Guest
Oliseh

Mad oh. First and second to comment.🌚

Oliseh
Guest
Oliseh

Omo iya mi mo wa pelu e!!! What I know is that every year has its ups and downs, so I can’t say this particular year was the worst I’ve faced. But we locomote!! 2020, they gon hear my photography brand. Believe it!

Well that was a lot of exclamation marks.

Corporate Marlian
Guest
Corporate Marlian

Well 2019 isn’t my worst year but it was definitely tough starting medical school and all those big jargons they expect you to put in your head in less than a second, slept while working with dead bodies and all failed a lot of exam got my shoe sizes and my age but towards the end of the year I got lot more than normal credit alerts and I also got to leave medical school to start medical school something I’ve always wanted. Oh yes I also became a marlian and I will forever teshumole. Starting 2020 like #mafo