No Valentine? No Problem

Top of the morning to you (or whichever time you’re reading this). I’ve finally gotten my lazy self out of bed to type and post this here but that is as obvious as Feb. 14 is Valentine’s Day.

At first, I was going to write this post and throw small small shades at my single friends but I realized that I’m single as well.

Nope, not sad about that at all.

So, here I am, writing a post telling myself things to do on Valentine’s and letting you read it. That’s right, this isn’t about you. Deal with it.

Before I start dropping the points that took me almost five minutes to research for this article, I just want to say something. There is nothing wrong with being single alright?

A lot of people try to qualify your worth by your relationship status but that is totally wrong. You can be single and happy too. Don’t let them get to you, ever! You can always continue hoeing being happy as a single person.

Just look how happy this guy is. He’s single. Look at his happy, single, genuine smile.

Last week, I published an article on how to impress your Valentine’s Day date and I promised to release another article for those of us who are still single. After a combined 28 hours of sleeping and telling myself “I’ll do it later”, here are five different things you can get yourself doing if you are single this Valentine’s:

PS; If you’re not single, you can still read it and share with your friends because anything can just happen at any morafoggin time!

1. Read a Book or Two

Me trying to take my own advice on the topic

I really should start using more professional images in proving my points here. Nonetheless, please, actually pick up a book and read on Valentine’s Day. I can’t stress how rewarding this can actually be for you.

If you are a fan of nonfiction, I would recommend “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k” by Mark Manson. Trust me, it is not what it seems and I’m quite sure that you will love it!

If you’re into fiction, go and look for what to read so that you won’t say it was after you read a horror story from Irewole’s Blog that you became depressed.

2. Get Creative

Be like Dexter. Be creative.

Everyone has something that they like to do and I can bet something that won’t pain me if I lose that you do too. (I swear, I believe in you)

It could be writing, it could be picture editing, it could be playing an instrument. To be honest, it doesn’t really matter what it is, just find something and do. I personally “always” use the time everyone else is chilling to write and my articles/stories/sad excuses for poems usually come out quite good.

Instead of spending your entire day looking at people buying gifts for themselves and then uploading pictures to make it look like someone else bought it for them, do something else with your time. Get creative.

3. Unplug and Relax

You know what? Being Dexter is kinda hard. You could just be like Homer Simpson. Much easier.

You’re probably single or at the very least, you’re not out having fun. Watching people have fun and post couple goals up and down is a waste of data. I won’t even lie to you.

Normally, network providers suck our data like breast but you’ll then go and add to it by viewing uploads that don’t even concern you.

Uncle/aunty, better off your data and go and do something else. Order nice pizza for yourself, sleep until you forget what century you’re in. Do everything on this list as a matter of fact but don’t spend the entire day looking at social media. Keyword: Unplug.

4. Hang Out With Your Single Friends

Something like this but it’s not me and you that will do this one.

I would not like to believe that among all your friends, you’re the only one who is single or who doesn’t have a date for Valentine’s Day. Mbanu, no!

Call up your friends who are also not doing anything on Valentine’s Day this year. They could hang out at your place or you guys could pick a meeting spot. There has to be at least one of you who is interesting and can think of fun things to do. Some of my personal favorite things to do with my friends on Val’s day include:

  • Going out, looking at couples and estimating how soon they’ll break up instead of just eating my amala and pomo.
  • Looking at fine girls but hardly ever walking up to them to talk: I’m not shy I swear. Most of the time, it’s because I’m just feeling cold.
  • Leaving my friends in the living room to go and sleep because ain’t nobody gonna interrupt my afternoon nap. This one should even be at the top of the list sef.

By the way, if you don’t have single friends, just go and signify in the comment section. Let us know each other.

5. Movie Marathon

I’d tell you to go to the cinema but then you’ll probably come back home crying when you’re the only person who went alone.

I know without being told that there are people who do this regularly and don’t even need my article to do this one. Those type of people are the ones who are one more movie away from blindness because they’ve stayed in front of the screen for so long. Those ones don’t need this. They’re probably doing it already.

To those of us who don’t spend about sixteen hours a day watching movies, a great way to pass time on Valentine’s Day without going on a date is to load up a bunch of movies and just binge on them.

Like, don’t stop watching until you get that feeling you normally get when you’ve stayed in one position for too long. When you start to get that feeling, simply do what I will do: pause the movie, shift to the right small and then press play.


Love might be in the air but the subscribe button is right here.

In Conclusion

My real to-do list for Valentine’s Day. Don’t judge me.

Feel free to take a screenshot and repost if you know that you’re going to ignore everything I said and just go with my to-do list instead.

I’ll be writing another blog post next week Friday now that Valentine’s Day is going and there’s no other holiday in sight. I hope nobody comes out to slap me after shaking all the tables till they break.

But really, what do you think?

  • Did you enjoy the article?
  • Apart from what I mentioned, what else can someone do on Valentine’s Day?
  • Are you preparing for resumption already? I know I’m not.
  • What do you have to say to all these relationship people that won’t let us rest?
  • On an unrelated note, who do you want to win the election?
  • Most importantly, am I not just awesome?

Leave your answers in the comment section and don’t forget to subscribe and share.

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Akachi
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Akachi

Okay I’ve not finished reading but I just had to scroll down and write this. Your memes kill me mehn. Like left o the floor crying

Temi🐲
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Temi🐲

Awesome as always douche,,I legit forgot bouh Valentine😂,,I enjoyed my own day by unplugging o and I just read the article a day after Valentine

Unashamed learner
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Unashamed learner

I think I am going the Dexter and Homer Simpson way today guy. You cannuh face Dsa stress and not ‘Simpsonize’ today.

great article here!

GirlNextDoor
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GirlNextDoor

😂😂So I finally got to read your post. You literally proved me wrong, this post is epic… Funny, real, helpful and weird all at once

RestingBitchFace
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RestingBitchFace

This was a fun read.
I’ve already started binge watching movies. Action o because I cannot be single and watching The Notebook on Val day. Then I’ll rewatch Rick & Morty while all my coupled friends tell me about their dates and I stuff myself with suya. What a lovely day.

Omotoyosi
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Omotoyosi

Nice one wole
I will probably go on a movie marathon too ,I mean this is Nigeria who wants to go out and have her panties taken 😂

Theunsualgirl
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Theunsualgirl

Okay I just stole your to-do list thank you I irewole and stop ignoring me on Whatsapp I repeat🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶

Oliseh
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Oliseh

What am I doing on Valentine’s day?

I’m going to work.

Pretty fun eh?

Fuckinghoelyman
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Fuckinghoelyman

On an unrelated note pls tell your married… No, un-single friends to guard their paynt ooo. In case you don’t know of the the new metric table. 1patameter=1 benzimeter

Kelvin Essien
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Kelvin Essien

Bruvvvvv, this is really lit!!! The fact you mentioned Mark Ronson’s book and standing with the Hoe Bro’s, you’ve got a fan! 🙌🏾

Oluwadamilola
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Oluwadamilola

Irewole let’s go on a date na😂😂😂I promise to treat u well😁😁

Philip
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Philip

Segun my guy nice one

Brownie_vocal
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I have a boyfriend oooooo

But I’ll follow your valentine’s plan

Tolani
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Tolani

After observing the first three things on your Valentine’s day To-Do list, I’d prepare a nice meal,(a life changing one)get dressed(with my heels and makeup)and then sit right in front of my smooth surface made of glass(mirror)and enjoy my life(majeye ori mi).
PS:And do you know this type of nap where you don’t need a blanket ’cause It’s gon’ do nothing but disturb your precious sleep and ehnnnm you know you’re going to wake up just before It’s time for dinner. I hope you know that type of nap guy.(sho ti ye e) I’m gon’ have that as well.

Musty the fine boy
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Musty the fine boy

Go face ur mirror n make love like its ur last day on earth

Angelica
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Angelica

I’ll be traveling tomorrow anyways. 😪

Kobbe
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Kobbe

🔥🔥🔥

Ayanpella
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Ayanpella

I’ll spend my Valentine’s day with you Segun🌚

CB
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CB

Estimating how soon they’ll break up😂😂😂😂 Jus eat ur pomo and go

Angie Baby
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Angie Baby

Ayyy!!! First to comment ✌
This was awesome,as always 💕💕
Lord knows I’ll binge-watch movies tomorrow. Feel free to join 🙂

Essy
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Essy

Lmao😂😂😂 .as guys just play games on ps4 and be taking turns. I know for sure I’m going to be watching movies and eating pizza all day

Isabel
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Isabel

Esther comman order your cake ooooo!! Before lonliness kills you😂😂😂