On the 14th of October, 2007, a show that quickly went viral premiered. They named it “Keeping up With the Kardashians”. It was essentially a reality show that was aimed at giving us an inside look into the lives of people we previously couldn’t care less about. It showed their glamorous lifestyles, their beauty, their flawless bodies and their ridiculously large amounts of money in assets and most notably, it showed how much they were “better” than us.Since that time, many other “shows” and subtle/obvious displays of superiority have popped up. There are the guys on social media who keep flaunting money that we can only guess their origin. Based on those unrealistic standards set by these guys, some girls have contributed to our singleness.Apart from the fact that these guys are constantly showing off their money and all they can afford to buy with it, they also intentionally put down people who are not as financially buoyant as they are. Whenever a controversial issue pops up and the richer person is to blame, the first line of defence is stating how much more money they have than the other person and dragging his self-esteem in the mud.
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Then, there are the girls. Ahh… the beautiful, silicon, amazing, padded girls. These are the type who flaunt their body on social media. In real life, they go through absolute hell just to look pleasing but on social media, the pain is masked in mascara and a sexy looking two piece lingerie.
Boys see it and their hearts are immediately softened (unlike another part of their body).They set that beauty standard for girls they know and start body-shaming. Girls see it and want to become like that fine girl that their crush is dying for. So, they start starving themselves because as long as you have a perfect body, it doesn’t matter if you’re anorexic or if you have chronic ulcer. You sha have a perfect body.Let us call all these people Dogonyaro because we don’t have Kardashians in Nigeria and what we are trying to do is to keep up with them. The world today has driven us to excessively seek validation from others while pretending to be living for our own selves. So, we stress our bodies, endure emotional and mental torture, try to appear successful but make conscious effort to mask it so we don’t get tagged arrogant.We do this and do that just so that we can be like Dogonyaro; the rich, famous guy/girl that everyone likes and wants to have steamy coitus with. I used to be like that or maybe I still am. I remember walking into a meeting once and the coordinator jovially asked me to introduce myself and state my networth. There were a number of people there and I sincerely wanted to tell them how much was in my account, not because I believed he was serious but because I just wanted to be respected. This isn’t a bad thing, it’s a primal urge, a reflex. What is bad is your inability to control it. I ended up not telling them that day. One thing I also can’t say is how I went from there to the picture you see below.In case you’ve not gotten the memo, what I am preaching against today is comparing yourselves excessively to others. For some, it is great motivation. It has no effect on their mental health. They’ll just see Dwayne Johnson in the morning and start doing push-ups and sit-ups.For most, however, it has the opposite effect. They start trying to become “better”. They hurt themselves, overthink, compare, doubt themselves and set an unachievable standard. They keep jumping to reach a goal that is beyond them until they fall and break something.The truth is that the same way I’ll probably never have the patience to start and finish cooking a pot of beans, you’ll probably never be like those social media people. Their money isn’t always legal but your efforts are. Their body isn’t always what it seems. Some went through gruesome, expensive surgery to get what you are trying to reach just by reducing the amount of suya you eat. You can’t be like them. Love yourself and stop trying to be someone else.The one advice I have for you is to continue improving on yourself. Set goals and levels for you that you want to attain and for every new level you get to, set a new one. Be the standard that you’re always reaching for
The online space we all share, while useful in a lot of areas isn’t always the best thing for our mental health. Guard your mind intelligently and don’t let yourself get sucked into all of these competition that would only end up leaving you sad and broken.
- What do you think? This is a better option writing about my inability to cook eh?
- What’s that thing that happens online that pisses you off?
- Do you compare yourself? If yes, why?