How to Impress Your Valentine’s Day Date

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, everyone else who probably shouldn’t be here, it is “my pleasure” to tell you that we’re in Valentine’s season once again, the season of love. All over secondary schools in Nigeria are underage kids buying cheap plastic roses and writing crappy poems to impress their crush. You know, the same way you tried to impress your crush/Vantine’s Day date back then.

Students in tertiary institutions would not be left out either as birth control sales would go through the roof over the next couple of days. Valentine’s Day is around the corner and love is most certainly in the air.

Me holding my breath until at least February 15th.

Having read the title of this article, I’m sure you already know what I’ll be talking about. However, before going ahead, I want to thank you specially for the love you showed me on my blog launch. I hate to brag so I won’t mention that my first article got over 50 comments but what I will say is a very big “thank you”.

Me on Wiki after my blog got 5 views on the first post.
See Also: First Things First

Now, back to the matter. Not everyone is a smooth guy with lots of experience with the ladies. Not everyone is that hot girl who can send feelings flying with a simple glance. As such, I thought I’d write a little something for those who might be having a little trouble deciding what to do for their Valentine’s Day date.

Before you can even get to the stage of doing/getting them something though, you have to ask them out first don’t you? Here are a few quick tips on that topic:

  • Be confident: Nobody wants a guy who doesn’t stop tripping over his balls or a girl who keeps fussing about how her ass isn’t as big as Nicki’s.
  • Be yourself: For very obvious reasons.
  • Groom yourself properly: They lied, appearances do matter
  • Actually ask them out: Because you sure as heck won’t accomplish anything by sitting there and overthinking it.

Any questions? Yes? You have a ton of questions? My tips aren’t explanatory enough?

Now that we’re all perfectly clear on how to ask him/her to be your Valentine, here are a couple of ways you could actually impress them and not completely suck:

1. Cook a Nice Meal for Him/Her

Do you understand this pic? Good. Make sure to keep your zipper up.

Fun fact: In an age when people are crazy about fast food, taking a minute (or an hour) out of your time to prepare a meal for that special someone wouldn’t hurt at all. You could have them over for a dinner date, set up candle lights, do everything required to make a romantic setting and watch them stay glued to you for eternity which in this case might not go beyond 2020.

I pride myself on being a very realistic person and I know everything that’s wrong with the paragraph above. As such, a much better piece of advice would be to organize a nice picnic, tell your parents you’re going to buy pure water while hiding the food behind you and then go out and see your date at your picnic location.

Do me a favor and see through the jokes so you can get my point, will ya? I really can’t help myself.

2. Go to the Cinema

If you’re the type of person who is a sucker for great conversations, this isn’t for you because they’ll probably end up ignoring you the entire movie depending on how much they like it.

Regardless of that, you could take your date to the movies, see an action movie or maybe a romantic one. No matter what you do however, suppress all feelings of “konji” because for some reason, our generation keeps acting like they’re trying to save mankind from extinction and every couple is the last on earth.

3. Think Outside The Box

There’s no box in this pic but you get the point. Think differently.

There was a time when a picture of a guy who sent his girlfriend a book of their WhatsApp texts from the beginning of their relationship was trending and a lot of people for some reason seemed to think that was really romantic, especially girls. I’d question it but what do I know? I’m just a single writer with a blog.

What that guy did was thinking outside the box. His girlfriend loved it and the rest of the busybody social media ate it up too. I can’t give you ideas on what to do because by doing so, I’d be putting you in the box I want you to think out of. Apart from that – and probably the only real reason – is I’m too tired to think right now at 3:00AM but really, think of something different and just do it.

4. Use Your Skill(s)

Can you sing? Do you write songs? Poems? Please, what exactly can you do? If you know how to sing, one way to impress him/her would be to perform a one man concert for them and you’d get bonus points if you can play an instrument while singing too.

A nice poem too wouldn’t be out of order. However, this cow has already been milked half to death. To salvage what is left of its motherly teats, you have to do it in a special way. This is if your date really means that much to you.

5. Take a Walk and Just Talk

Note that your beach setting might not be as romantic as this. Watch out for horse poop too ’cause that’ll probably be all over the place.

The way I rhymed that subheading is another reason I’m convinced I should be in the rapping game. There just might be a future for me there.

I feel like I’m getting too cheesy here but if you want to connect with your date on a more emotional level and not just beneath the surface which in this case is made of cotton/silk or whatever else, then a great way would be to just talk. Show them who you really are on the inside. It could be a walk on the beach or maybe even in the park. You don’t have to do any of that cliché hand holding stuff but just talk. Don’t forget to listen either.


How far na? I won't mind at all if you subscribe to my blog.

 
See Also: No Valentine? No Problem

In Conclusion

This article was written for those who actually want to do something romantic on their Val Day. If you’re single and you’ll remain so even on the day itself, I’ve got another article coming up for you next week Wednesday.

Like I said however, the person needs to actually mean something to you for you to want to put in this much effort. Otherwise, just get them a box of chocolates and a teddy bear or a pack of low quality boxers. That usually does the trick quite nicely.

So, what do you think?
  • Did you enjoy the article?
  • What other ways do you think a person can impress his/her Valentine’s Day date?
  • What are you going to be doing this Valentine?
  • What would you even advice single people like us to do during this period?
  • What are you going to do now that ASUU has suspended strike?
  • Why are you not subscribing to this blog and sharing the posts ehn? Why?

Let me know all of these in the comment section.

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Akachi
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Akachi

Yayy well done. I’m just seeing all of these btw.

Vicky
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Vicky

Vicky is here Again!!! remember me??
One major romantic thing i think you ommited is…. *Coitus*…. You know…. What is more romantic than bonding with nature with the one you love…. And there is no form of human nature more pure than the Animalistic instinct to rip each others clothes off Nd make nature.
PS by nature i mean fornicate😆😆

Oliseh
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Oliseh

Oh well… Guess it’s till Wednesday for me😂

grace
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grace

This Valentine, I will be indoor with myself and my phone😁….

Great write up… This is definitely going to help a lot of single ‘taken’ guys😁😁

Ayanpella
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Ayanpella

Can you do what you preach?😪😪

Plantainboy
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Plantainboy

Nice write-up. Biko we can’t wait fir the Wednesday’s. We the Loners😄

Angie Baby
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Angie Baby

Ah shet. You’ve done it again 😂😂❤
I’m really excited for Wednesdayyyy

_pheyii
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_pheyii

I can’t be the only one waiting for Wednesday 😂😂😂

Bloodline
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You’re crazy guy lmao

Theunsualgirl
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Theunsualgirl

I wish my boyfriend has enough time for all these😪😪😪😪😪

your long lost love
Guest
your long lost love

09074409586 unsuccessful attempts at love… I’m waiting for my wife. 🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️

Oliseh
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Oliseh

Osheyyy Mr Subtle!!!😂😂

Elishama
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What’s funny about this post is that you’re playing Dr cupid for Nigerian lovers out there but you still don’t have a girl 😂

Long Rod Von Hugendong
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Long Rod Von Hugendong

Should have put a “this is not for the lonely losers” warning at the beginning… Beautiful stuff though, I’ll cook nice stuff for me

Tolani
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Tolani

You have the best ideas
A good head you’ve got on your shoulders guy.🔥🔥🔥

Essy
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Essy

For a single blogger, you sure know how to get a woman 🌚…. I’m waiting to hear your plans on Valentine’s Day lil man

Adéṣẹwà
Guest

Low quality boxers.. LMAOOOOOO 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂.

Temi🐲
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Temi🐲

For singles;I pray rain falls from morning till the end of February 14,,I’ll just sleep half of my life away,,come to think of it rain falling sef might run pharmacy stores out of birth control pills😳(hence my time specification)

Angelica
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Angelica

“…watch them stay glued to you for eternity, which in this case might not go beyond 2020…” 😂😂😂😂😂
That part caught me 😂😂😂💔

Temi🐲
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Temi🐲

Nice one,,sneaking out to buy pure water😂,,even that day rings a bell for parents,, there’s nothing u want to buy that will let u go out

Ayoms
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Ayoms

Crazy!love to see you do all of this first!😂😂😂

LekeDavid Ireoluwa
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LekeDavid Ireoluwa

Lol did you just say low quality boxers 😹😹

Isabel
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Isabel

Get a girlfriend. I’d love to see you do at least 2 of 5. 😪😊😏

Brownie_vocal
Guest

You’re a mad man guyyy😂😂💔

Well done

Oliseh
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Oliseh

Never mind me, I’m just loading up my ammo for my machine gun this love season😏