In the last seven days or so, a lot of stuff has happened to me. I’ve had ups and downs, twists and turns and through it all, I almost gave up. In spite of all of that, I’m thankful that I’m not here to talk about any of that bullcrap. No, no, no. Today, I have come to talk to you about bad energy.
On the 20th of June, 2018 Skepta and Wizkid released “Bad Energy”. The song pretty much went viral in Nigeria and outside the country. Since then, especially among the young online community, it has been the rave.
Everybody wants bad energy to stay far away and as soon as you start looking like you’re that, they cut you off and throw you away like spoilt bread. Really, I can’t blame you if you do that. You have to stay away from toxicity and protect your mental health as much as possible. It’s an absolute priority but…
…don’t you think people are starting to take it a little bit too far? Sure, there are those who are actually bad for you but what about those that are just trying to help you?
These days, you can’t tell a person to watch their weight without being accused of bodyshaming. You can’t tell your friend an honest truth without being looked at differently. A lot of people now mistake truthful, friendly suggestions for hatred and as such decide to cut those who tell them off. Some people have become repelled by the truth!
Seeing all of this, I thought “naa fam. I’m not just going to sit by and watch this happen.” So, I sat by and watched it happen… until I got bored of doing that like many other things.
Essentially, I’m writing this article right here to share with you some basic truths that you probably know and/or have been denying because apparently, that’s what most of our generation considers bad energy now. Don’t stop reading now, I’m just starting:
1. No One Owes you Anything!
This one is an entirely different topic on its own that I’ll probably find the time to write about someday when I’m not stuffing my face. Too many people walk around with the mentality that you are meant to give them something because you hold such and such position in their lives but let me tell you something, no one owes you shit!
I don’t have to borrow you money because you’re my friend. She doesn’t have to leave her body for you because she’s your girlfriend. He doesn’t have to spend on you because he’s your boyfriend. They don’t have to give you every single thing because they’re your parents. He/she doesn’t have to be nice to you because it’s the right thing to do. Nobody owes you anything!!!
2. No One Really Cares
I can bet that out of all the people in your life, only about 3% of them actually care as much as you think they do. Sure, there is that set of people that would slap Thanos for you but most other people really don’t give a crap if you have your insides fed to you on a platter.
You might cringe at this but it’s perfectly normal and you can’t even blame them. All humans are inherently selfish and we care mainly about ourselves. It’s a basic skill we need for survival. When push comes to shove, that your “bestie for life” will probably protect their own self and if they don’t, they’ll probably expect something in return in the short or long run. No one really, really cares.
Even I feel bad stating this truth but it has to be said.
3. It’s (Probably) your Fault
Did your partner just break up with you and it hurts like hell? It’s your fault. Did you try asking him or her out and instead of simply saying no, the person insults and embarrasses you? It’s your fault. Did you try opening up to someone and all they did was hurt you and show you reasons you shouldn’t even open up at all? It’s your fault. Don’t come here acting like it’s all their fault because you also have your own sexy share of the blame.
You’re probably already pissed off at this point but I’m guessing that’s a good sign. Just let me explain.
- In the instance of the break up stated above, it’s firstly probably your fault for not noticing the pre breakup signs and preparing yourself accordingly. Second of all, you’re the one who is choosing to nurse those emotions for as long as you are which is probably why you’re still hurting.
- In the instance of asking someone out and getting insulted. You could’ve chosen instead of being blinded by your emotions to actually study this person logically and see who they are before jumping into asking them out. You might say they’re not normally like that but guess what? It’s also your fault for not taking time to notice the possible mood swing that changed them temporarily.
- In the instance of opening up to someone, that one is simple. You chose wrong. No long story.
A lot of the time, these people are also at fault. Some people are just plain mannerless and stupid – to put mildly – but at most points in time, no matter how little, you have a share of the blame.
4. You’re (Probably) Just Too Sensitive
This is related to the previous point. It’s the reason why people’s words hurt you so much, not just because they’re mean. Your friend who called you fat could have said it in a better way but if you weren’t so sensitive and maybe even insecure, you wouldn’t be feeling so shitty ahout it. The guy who called you flat is a douchebag but you probably would not be affected by it if you weren’t so sensitive and if you tried to love yourself a little bit more.
The list goes on and on but you get my point already. All these things I’m talking about here are related in one way or the other. A lot of the time, we like to think that the world should treat us somehow but it doesn’t owe us anything, it doesn’t really care and we’re probably the ones hurting ourselves by overthinking.
5. Bonus Point
A lot of you probably already know this one but you just choose not to think about it or it has genuinely not occurred to you before. Either way, I’m going to say it here.
You know that one piece of clothing. The one you use everyday… at least I know I use it ’cause I bathe everyday. Yes, I’m talking about your towel.
That part of your towel that wipes your butt has wiped your face too at least fifteen times this year. Now tell me, how do you feel thinking about that?
Before I Leave….
This article wasn’t written because I’m desperate for attention and it certainly was not written because I want to make you feel bad or anything. In fact,
- I do admit and know that some people do owe you something. You can’t work for someone and put in your effort based on agreement and they’ll say they don’t wanna pay you.
- I do admit and know that there are people in your life who sincerely do care about you. I have them in mine too.
- I do admit and know that while you might have a little bit of fault, the person’s actions are still inexcusable.
- I do admit and know that, no matter how thick skinned you are, you’re still human and people can get to you.
But I just thought I’d write this article so you could at least come to terms with these truths and better yourself. It hurts, I know. It took a lot of effort to accept them myself and even more effort to write it but it’s the truth and it must be spoken.
So, do you hate me now?
- Did you like the article?
- Don’t lie, you’re planning to unsubscribe already shey? I’ve offended you abi?
- What part(s) of this do you disagree with and why?
- How did you feel when you read number 5?